"The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Off-Topic Chatter About Anything Non-Amityville
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msmart112
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Post by msmart112 » Sat Sep 27, 2008 10:21 pm

As hilarious as The Onion is...and as hilarious as the covers are...there's usually at least one "story" or "headline" that's weak.

But THIS cover is about as perfect as it gets...

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e210/ ... nfront.jpg

:lol:
Image

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BillyCigars
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Post by BillyCigars » Sun Sep 28, 2008 3:04 pm

LOL!!
"The old man's still an artist with a Thompson."

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sherbetbizarre
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Post by sherbetbizarre » Mon Dec 15, 2008 6:28 pm

Staten Island Historians Piece Together Genealogy Of Wu-Tang Clan

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/st ... ians_piece

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Zohie
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Post by Zohie » Tue Dec 16, 2008 8:06 am

Here's my favorite, I nabbed it down stairs outside my building. No you can't have it!

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sherbetbizarre
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Post by sherbetbizarre » Tue May 05, 2009 5:28 pm


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BillyCigars
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Post by BillyCigars » Sun May 10, 2009 6:29 pm

Prison Economy Spirals Out Of Control As Price Of Cigarettes Exceeds Two Handjobs (NSFW!!!)

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/p ... s_as_price

ROFLOLLLLLL
"The old man's still an artist with a Thompson."

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# 13
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Post by # 13 » Sun May 10, 2009 6:46 pm

"Either the most complex and sophisticated hoax in the history of Anthropology has continued for centuries without being exposed or the most manlike and largest non human primate has managed to survive in parts of North America and remains undiscovered by modern science."
Prof G.W.Gill - President of the American Board of Forensic Anthropology


kathyM
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by kathyM » Fri Feb 18, 2011 5:03 am

What in the hell was he thinking? Eww! Still, I bet people will buy it! That eyeball staring at you is weird.

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BillyCigars
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by BillyCigars » Fri Feb 18, 2011 12:56 pm

Oh dear. Kathy, it's a mock-newsstory - totally fake ;)
"The old man's still an artist with a Thompson."

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eber3
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Post by eber3 » Fri Feb 18, 2011 1:18 pm

msmart112 wrote:As hilarious as The Onion is...and as hilarious as the covers are...there's usually at least one "story" or "headline" that's weak.

But THIS cover is about as perfect as it gets...

http://i40.photobucket.com/albums/e210/ ... nfront.jpg

:lol:
I love that mountain lion article...
EUREKA, CA—A local mountain lion came face-to-face with a group of hikers and made it out alive, sources reported Monday. Wildlife officials are crediting the courageous cougar's quick thinking, catlike reflexes, and 150 pounds of coiled muscle with successfully fending off the human foot travelers.

The mountain lion was reportedly enjoying a quiet afternoon walk around Redwood National Park, on the same path it had taken almost every single day for the past three years, when it heard a rustling sound emanating from the underbrush. Upon investigation, the large feline noticed that a pack of hikers—one adult male, two young children, and an adult female that it instantly recognized as the mother—had crossed into territory that the cat had clearly marked as its own via tree scrapings and urine.

Outnumbered four to one, the cougar, fearing for its life, somehow managed to stay calm. It remained perfectly still in a crouched position and stared directly at the hikers, in the hopes that they would simply pass by. The hikers, however, were undeterred. They began shrieking loudly, clapping their hands, and throwing sticks and rocks at the animal in an apparent attempt to injure it.

"Nothing can prepare a mountain lion for an encounter with four hikers," said park ranger Kenneth Meiggs, noting that it is unusual to find hikers in that particular area of the woods. "In order to defend itself, the cougar had to rely on pure instinct alone."

Armed with nothing more than four-inch claws, razor-sharp teeth, and a 5.4-meter vertical leap, the mountain lion lunged at the adult male hiker. In a defensive measure, it pinned the hiker to the ground, thus disabling the man's primary means of attack. After a brief struggle, the animal was eventually able to lock onto the hiker's skull with its jaw.

"Repeated biting of the skull and face is the textbook way to fend off a human attack," said Mike Kasperski, biologist and author of the book Hikers: Shadows In The Forest.

The mother, however, became increasingly aggressive due to the presence of her young. She reportedly ran toward the mountain lion with a four-inch-wide log and began striking it upon the head. Not knowing what else to do, the feline tore a foot-wide hole in the hiker's stomach, but the enraged female continued to fight, poking the feline in the eye with her finger. The cougar, in a last-ditch effort for survival, whipped its claws across the woman's throat, killing her instantly.

Remarkably, this brave mountain lion is only 4 and a half years old.

"It's amazing what some mountain lions are capable of when faced with the most dire of circumstances," Meiggs said. "To think that those hikers were a mere 20 yards away, and the lion walked away unscathed…. Wow."

The two younger hikers received small lacerations on their legs and chest, while the adult male is being treated for massive head trauma and internal bleeding. The mother, identified as Cyndi Thalls, 38, of Pacoima, CA, was pronounced dead at the scene.

"I think it's safe to say those hikers will think twice before getting into another tussle with this feisty little fellow," Meiggs added with a chuckle.

Following the incident, the mountain lion retreated into the woods, escaping with nothing more than a few minor scratches and a blood-covered snout. At press time, it is resting comfortably on a large rock.

kathyM
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by kathyM » Fri Feb 18, 2011 2:43 pm

I have never heard of this onion paper. I just popped into the link Sherb put up. You got me! Hey, with the stuff that comes out nowdays, this is something I can totally see somebody dreaming up and even worse I can believe that people would stand in line to buy it!

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eber3
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by eber3 » Sat Feb 19, 2011 10:10 am


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Shawn
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by Shawn » Sat Feb 19, 2011 11:48 am

Any and all comments made by the poster "Shawn" are purely his opinion and do not reflect the opinions of the board owners, administrators or moderators. Also, all postings done by the member "Shawn" are property of "Shawn" and cannot be reproduced in any way shape or form without written permission from the poster known here(@http://www.amityvillefaq.com) as "Shawn". TIA.

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eber3
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by eber3 » Sat Feb 19, 2011 4:41 pm

Well that's evolution for you.

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sherbetbizarre
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by sherbetbizarre » Wed Apr 27, 2011 4:07 am

Insightful interview with the writer of Fast Five...

http://www.theonion.com/video/today-now ... -of,20188/

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sherbetbizarre
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by sherbetbizarre » Sat May 28, 2011 5:09 pm

"Literally Unbelievable"
Stories from The Onion as interpreted by Facebook

http://literallyunbelievable.tumblr.com/

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sherbetbizarre
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by sherbetbizarre » Mon Aug 12, 2013 4:01 am

The 35 Best Times Someone On Facebook Thought ‘The Onion’ Was Real

http://thoughtcatalog.com/2013/the-35-b ... -was-real/

:fp:

kathyM
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by kathyM » Mon Aug 12, 2013 6:09 am

I thought everything written in the media and on the internet was supposed to be true? Havent you seen that car insurance commercial with the French model? :)

Besides I got conned by this Onion when you put up the article about the new computer so I can feel for the so called dummies. :evil:

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Rokiisun
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by Rokiisun » Thu Aug 22, 2013 10:21 am

I'm sorry, I had to laugh at some of these 35 things :lol:
The one about the free parrot to every man, woman and child... :fp:
It is better to return a borrowed pot with a little something you last cooked in it.

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sherbetbizarre
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Re: "The Onion" - America's Finest News Source

Post by sherbetbizarre » Thu Dec 05, 2013 4:47 pm





Onion Video About Anger Over 'Stop and Kiss' Got People Mad For Real!

http://gawker.com/onion-video-about-ang ... 1477131574

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